I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I understand Curling. That high.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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