You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
