I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
