I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize