my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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