the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
