RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
