I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
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can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
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Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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