i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize