Im at strip club and am horny
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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