I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
