she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize