The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize