All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
