Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
