You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
