My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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