Jerry, you need to find god
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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