Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
And then my night got REAL pukey
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
