laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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