dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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