For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
