Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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