So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
