Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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