talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
