at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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