Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
