It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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