Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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