I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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