no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
A+ Viking dick
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
