question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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