i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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