My brain says no but my pants say off.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
