he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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