I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She told me I should be a condom model.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
