You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize