After last night, I could never be a politician.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
