I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
