I wanna bring you to show and tell
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
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told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
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I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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