At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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