so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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