so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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