how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
