my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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