But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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