Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
