I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
