Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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