Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
