i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
