just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
