Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
