White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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