I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
