goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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