So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
there is puke in my bra ... again
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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