I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
