When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
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So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
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You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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