I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
