Kiss
Puke
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
