if i died would you start the facebook group?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
