I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
