Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm having to shit out rocks
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