He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize