I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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