How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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