3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
