soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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