she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I wear drunk well.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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